The Forgiveness Formula- Part 2

Part 1 can be found – HERE.

In part 1 we scratched the surface of forgiveness.  We talked about the fact that we are commanded by God to forgive.  I also presented my first equation on forgiveness: Forgiveness = Freedom.  Today I want to look at the second equation in my Forgiveness Formula;

Forgiveness + Love = Restoration

This goes beyond the command to forgive.  This is to tap the barrel of love that Jesus has given us.  This is a slightly irrational response to being hurt.  Normally, we’re hurt and because of the command to forgive, we move past the hurt enough to not hold bitterness in our heart and forgive the offender.  Sometimes that’s all we can do.  Sometimes the pain or the offense is so horrible that achieving forgiveness is the extent of our ability. 

But as Christ-Followers, the limit or our abilities is the beginning of Jesus’ abilities through us.  This is what separates us from non-Christians.  Here is the difference, our ability to forgive and love someone that hurt us, regardless of the circumstance, is the love of God working in us and through us.  Even if they didn’t want or ask for our forgiveness.  Jesus is an irrational guy.  Rationality tells us that when someone hurts us we should be mad and hurt them back, an eye for an eye if you will, but Jesus turns this on it’s head and tells us to love our enemies.

^43-47"You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.  ⁴⁸"In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you."  Matthew 5:43-48 The Message

Grow up!  Live out your God-created identity!  Be different from everyone else.  Go the extra mile.  Think beyond yourself.  Reflect God! 

This is a hard thing to do.  It’s a little revolutionary. 

 

Now check out Romans 12:1-2 in the Message;

^1-2 So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

You see, it’s our calling to be different, to go beyond the norm.  That passage said at the end that “God brings the best out of you.”  What’s the best?  Love.  The two Greatest Commandments start with love; Love God and Love others.  Jesus ends that passage by saying that EVERYTHING hangs on these commandments to love.  Paul says that out of faith, hope and love the greatest is love.  1 John tells us that love comes from God and if you don’t know or have love you don’t know or have God because God IS love.

When we begin to love someone that hurt us our anger fades and the ability to care for that person replaces it.  This could take a while.  It is probably not an overnight thing.  Give it time.  Start slow.  Let the Holy Spirit guide you. 

Quick Hits about how to find love for someone that hurt you.

1.  Pray for yourself- Pray that God would change YOUR heart, not theirs.  Pray that God would help you to love them.  Pray that God would quench the anger or hate in your heart with His love.

2.  Pray for them.  Pray for them.  And,  pray for them again.  Don’t pray against them, pray FOR them.  Don’t pray that God would change them.  Don’t pray that God would “Get them”.  Pray that God would bless them.  If you know some of the sins in their life you can pray that God would teach them and soften their heart to His will. You can pray for restoration between that person and God.  You can pray for healing if they are sick.  The key is to only pray for good things.  The longer and more earnestly you do this the more love you will feel for them.  It will be hard at first but don’t give up.

  Forgiveness + Love = Restoration 

Restoration of a relationship, restoration of family, restoration of unity.  Restoration of a person to God, restoration of life.  Forgiveness + Love is a powerful thing!

 

One caveat, this doesn’t mean you should place yourself in danger.  I am NOT telling someone to stay in an abusive relationship.  I have counseled many people to get to a safe place and not go back.  However, this does not preclude you from forgiving and loving that person.  Trust is an altogether different issue from forgiveness and love.  I can love someone and not trust them.

Coming Soon- The Forgiveness Formula- Part 3

It’s all about Him,

Shawn

---

Did you like this post? Did you hate it? Please share it with your friends and leave a comment below. I would love to read your thoughts and opinions.

     

 

You can also check out the Other Resources page for Bible Study Helps as well as links to media downloads, all free!

 

Want to show God’s love in a practical way and let people know where they can go for more info or help? Take a look at the DUO page.

Questions? Don’t forget to visit the Questions??Questions?? page and let me know. I will try to answer it the best I can. No Quantum Physics or Time Travel questions please!

 

I’m not Einstein!

The Forgiveness Formula – Part 1

I have been reading Charles Stanley’s book, Landmines in the Path of the Believer during my quiet time with God.  The current chapter is on unforgiveness.  A few people I know have expressed to me that they are having trouble with this concept.  It’s hard to forgive someone that has hurt you.  It’s hard to let the anger go.  It’s hard to move on.  But we must.  We must move past the anger, past the hurt.  The Bible actually commands us to forgive.  It tells us that we must.  Why?  Why are we commanded to forgive?  Why is it wrong to hold on to those feelings?  Maybe you are like me and think, if I forgive the person that hurt me I will be letting them off the hook.  Or maybe you feel if I forgive that jerk for what he/she did I will even be encouraging them to do it again.  Maybe my forgiveness will be a silent declaration that what they did was ok, or even that I agree with it.  In actuality, nothing could be farther from the truth.  And we all want Truth!  With that said, may I offer my Forgiveness Formula.

Forgiveness = Freedom

“Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.”  Galatians 5:1  The Message

What happens when we hold a grudge?  Here’s what happens to me.  Someone does something to hurt me, lets call him Bob (Bob is my favorite guy to pick on, no relation to Bob Newhart).  So Bob ticks me off, maybe he says something derogatory about me or maybe he does something mean to my wife.  Anger flares in my mind.  I’m so ticked all I see is red.  I say something and walk away but it’s not enough.  Soon the situation is replaying in my mind over and over.  Things I should have said start coming to me.  “I should have been meaner, I shouldn’t of held back.”  I should have called him a “such-in-such”.  Soon my witty, cutting remarks turn physical, “Man, I should have just decked the sorry sucker.”  “Why didn’t I beat the meanness out of him.”  Then I start thinking about what’s going to happen the next time I see him.  “If he says anything to me this is what I’m going to say….’”  I start rehearsing it like I’m rehearsing lines for a movie, a movie where I’m Arnold and he’s actor “f”, you know, the guy that Arnold kills so fast they didn’t even bother to give him a name. 

On and on I replay and visualize the next encounter until he’s lying dead in a broken bloody heap, yup, Bob’s dead!  OK, OK, maybe I’m being a little dramatic but you get the point.  Here’s the problem, if left unchecked, our anger for that person begins to dominate our thoughts and soon our lives.  Revenge is what we focus on, it consumes us.  If you can’t go a day without thinking about how someone has hurt you, you’re living in un-forgiveness.  If you can’t go a week or even a month without some angry feeling popping up about someone, you’re living in unforgiveness.  Whether you know it or not, you have become a slave to that person.  All you can think about is the wrong you suffered.  It affects your life.  You see things through an anger-filled pair of glasses.

Have you ever seen the first Toy Story?  Remember when the toys were headed out to  find Woody?  Mrs. Potato Head said to Mr. Potato Head, “Don’t forget you’re angry eyes!”  (Yes, I did just use Mr. Potato Head in a devotion about God- any other requests?)  Sometimes we have angry eyes. 

 

Anger leads to unforgiveness which in turn leads to bitterness.  Once bitterness and unforgiveness have a hold of you they don’t let go.  That person that you’re angry at now has control of your life.  You are no longer free. 

Quick Hits about forgiveness-

1.  It’s a choice.  You have to choose to let go of every feeling of resentment.  No matter what “Bob” does to you, forgiveness means no longer harboring any anger for them.  “Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you.”  Colossians 3:13 The Message

2. Give up your “right” to get even.  As a Christ-Follower you don’t actually have a right to get even. “Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. "I’ll do the judging," says God. "I’ll take care of it."”  Romans 12:17-19  The Message

3. It’s up to God to deal with people that hurt or abuse you, so let Him.  “For we know the one who said,   “I will take revenge.  I will pay them back.”  Hebrews 10:30  NLT

This doesn’t mean we forget what they did, that’s not possible nor is it preferable.  To forget and allow that person to continue to hurt you is not what we are called to do.  But we must forgive.  We must forgive in order to be free.

“Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you.”  Galatians 5:1  The Message 

Look for Part 2 in the series, “The Forgiveness Formula” soon….

---

Did you like this post? Did you hate it? Please share it with your friends and leave a comment below. I would love to read your thoughts and opinions.

     

 

You can also check out the Other Resources page for Bible Study Helps as well as links to media downloads, all free!

 

Want to show God’s love in a practical way and let people know where they can go for more info or help? Take a look at the DUO page.

Questions? Don’t forget to visit the Questions??Questions?? page and let me know. I will try to answer it the best I can. No Quantum Physics or Time Travel questions please!

 

I’m not Einstein!

The Last Minute God

Why is it that God seems to like to wait until the last minute to do His thing?  Does He enjoy tormenting us?  Does God have a “Hero Complex”?  Or is it really for our own good?

The other day I used a verse in a post that said “God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28 NLT 

I truly believe it and yet the last few weeks have been a series of ups and downs for me.  I have battled depression and fear.  I have wrestled with my faith in God and fought against disbelief.  A war has raged in my very heart for control of my destiny. 

Every prayer held the same phrase, “Lord, help my unbelief.  Give me faith in You!”  Most times I held onto my absolute trust in God, but to be completely honest and transparent, it hasn’t been easy.  Some days were harder than others.  When Amy would call and was having a hard time with the kids because I wasn’t there, when I would be all alone in my little motel room, when life seemed to crawl by, at these times I would loose heart and feel disconnected from God.  But looking back I can see that God was there, carrying me like a father carries his child on his shoulders;  in the phone calls from friends, in the comments on my facebook page from people praying for me, in the amazing Quiet Times I had with God. 

Another verse stands out to me as well, Hebrews 13:5b “be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." (NIV)

This I have tried to do.  I have sought to be content with my circumstances and realize that God is in control.  I am His to do with as He sees fit.  This is hard for me, I like to be in charge.  I like to make my own decisions.  To allow God to be in charge is to give up what I want to hold on to, “me”.

It hasn’t been easy, I have been stressed like never before, but my faith, or at least my desire to have faith in God, has been rewarded.  God has stepped in at the Eleventh Hour, just as He promised.  Actually, He didn’t “step in” as He has been here all along, He just made His presence more fully known by pulling everything together at the last moment.

Does God have a Hero Complex?  Does He enjoy tormenting us?  NO!  What He  does enjoy is seeing the faith His children have in Him and rewarding those who honestly seek Him and want to have their faith increased.  But a secondary motive arises as well, this allows us to see where our faith truly is.  I can look back and see how small my faith was but how great my desire was to have faith in Him.  Now, looking back from the other side of the valley I can see how little I started with and how much I ended with.

How about you?  Are you in a valley?  How’s your faith?  It doesn’t have to be strong right now but the desire to have faith in God must be strong.  Call out to Him.  Ask Him to help your unbelief.  I did, and it made all the difference.

In Mark 9 we read of a father with a child afflicted with seizures and unable to control himself.  The young boy was possessed of an unclean spirit/sickness.  The father asks Jesus to heal his son but adds, “If you can.”  Jesus looks at him and says, “If I can?  Everything is possible for him who believes.”  The father recognizes his lack of faith and immediately cries out to Jesus, “I do believe.  Lord, help me overcome my unbelief.”  Immediately Jesus heals his son. 

That’s what I cried out as well, in the darkness and loneliness of my motel room, “Lord I believe, help me overcome my unbelief!”  And He did!

---

Did you like this post? Did you hate it? Please share it with your friends and leave a comment below. I would love to read your thoughts and opinions.

     

 

You can also check out the Other Resources page for Bible Study Helps as well as links to media downloads, all free!

 

Want to show God’s love in a practical way and let people know where they can go for more info or help? Take a look at the DUO page.

Questions? Don’t forget to visit the Questions??Questions?? page and let me know. I will try to answer it the best I can. No Quantum Physics or Time Travel questions please!

 

I’m not Einstein!

Stop Not Stopping

There was a popular email that went around recently.  It turns out that it’s true.  Here’s the link to the Washington Post Story.  Click HERE!  Warning, it’s LONG!  Or just read the highlights below.

A man sat at a Metro station in Washington, D.C. and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousands of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried on to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping, continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston and the seats averaged $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the Metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour. Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?

Is it just me or does this remind anyone of the story of Jesus?

Josh Bell-  One of the greatest musicians of our day plays one of the most complex pieces of music in history with a priceless instrument and people just walk on by without taking the time to stop and look at him.

Jesus- Greatness steps into the mundane, lives an amazing, perfect life, dies on a cross for our sins and people then and now just walk right by without taking the time to stop and look at Him.

Whether you believe Jesus is the only way to God or not, you should at least stop and take time to decide for yourself.

⁶ Jesus answered, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. The only way to the Father is through me. (John 14:6, New Century Version)

We seem to do this with people as well.  We see people but miss the person.

Take time to find the amazing in the mundane, whether it be Jesus, a concert violinist in the metro or a friend that needs a kind word.

---

Did you like this post? Did you hate it? Please share it with your friends and leave a comment below. I would love to read your thoughts and opinions.

You can also check out the Other Resources page for Bible Study Helps as well as links to media downloads, all free!

Want to show God’s love in a practical way and let people know where they can go for more info or help?  Take a look at the DUO page.

Questions? Don’t forget to visit the Questions??Questions?? page and let me know. I will try to answer it the best I can. No Quantum Physics or Time Travel questions please!

I’m not Einstein!

Greased Lightbox

→←+-↻

Loading image

Click anywhere to cancel

Image unavailable

Surprise!!

I love surprising people and I love being surprised, usually. 

I love surprising my wife.  I don’t do it enough, but I love it.  Actually, i think I love torturing my wife before I surprise her.  She hates surprises.  Actually, she hates knowing about surprises and not knowing what the surprise is.  So what do I, the loving husband do?  I get her something and then tell her, but I won’t tell her what it is.  Why?  Because it drives her nuts.  Yes, I have a little bit of a mean streak.  I like to keep her guessing.  I figure the day she knows what I’m going to do is the day our marriage becomes stale.  I doubt she would agree, but whatever. 

I like being surprised as well.  The other day she went shopping and came back with  a surprise for me, a Superman coffee mug.  It’s huge and it has Superman on it, two of my favorite things.  It also says “The Man of Steel” on the inside lip.  I feel manly just writing that! 

 

 

There are some surprises I don’t like though.  For instance.  A while back, probably about a year now, ,my daughter Abby surprised me.  Actually she scared the manliness out of me but since the word “surprise” is less emasculating we’ll go with that.

I was sound asleep when I heard the screams.  I immediately stumbled out of bed and started zombie-walking towards my kids room, you know what I mean, one eye sort of open but everything is blurry and dark, you’re a little disoriented and your balance is off.  As I walked out of the bedroom door and started into the kitchen a demon began to shriek at me from about two feet away and about two feet off the floor.  I, in my manliness, was terrified and began to scream as well, and not in a  “get out of my house foul demon” way.  Eventually I figured out the demon was my two year old little girl.  As I realized this I stopped screaming and started trying to calm her.   She stopped and then really surprised me.  She said, “Daddy, I threw upblahhhhhhh.”  And then proceeded to demonstrate exactly what she had done.  Now I’m wide awake and quickly grabbing her, cupping my hand under her mouth and sprinting for the sink.  SURPRISE!!!!!!!!

This is not a good surprise.  Nope!  I totally agree with comedian Bill Engvall, if alarm clocks came with a built in recording of a kid throwing up no one would ever need to hit the snooze button again.

As much as we get surprised by things, good or bad, God never does.  But we seem to think He does don’t we?  I can’t count the number of times something has happened, usually bad, and I have looked up at heaven and thought, “Where were you on that one?”  The meaning behind it being, “Did that surprise You, did it catch you unaware?”  The obvious answer is, “No”.  We however, don’t think of the obvious answer.  We question God. 

I am not one of those people that believe it is a sin to question God.  I don’t believe it’s a sin to be angry at God.  He gave us emotions, He wired us this way, how can it be sin?  I do believe it is a sin to stay that way because we don’t talk to Him about it.  These things lead to bitterness and uncontrolled anger.  There have been many times I have been angry with God for a perceived slight or injustice, but every time I have gone to Him He has taken my anger and frustration and given me peace and faith.  How?  By confessing my anger or fears too Him He can soften my heart and rebuild the trust and faith I have in Him.  This is true in any relationship.  When you feel hurt or angry with someone the first step is going to that person and telling them.  It allows the other person to tell you their side.  Most times it was a misunderstanding and trust can be restored.  (this is assuming the other person did not mean to harm you, as God never does things to harm you but only for your good this illustration works) 

By realizing that God is never surprised because He knows everything, we can trust that He is in control.  Through God’s Word we learn that all things that happen are working toward our betterment.

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.  Romans 8:28  NLT

This verse has been taken out of context and made to mean something it doesn’t for years.  This does not mean God is going to give you a Mercedes nor does it mean that when we sin God will just magically make it all better.  What it does mean is that for all Christ-Followers God is actively using the circumstances in our lives, whether self inflicted or caused by Him, to grow us spiritually and make us a more mature disciple. 

God may surprise us but nothing surprises God.  So when life wakes you up in the middle of the night, relax.  God is still in control and He isn’t caught off guard.  We may not see the big picture, but He does and He is working everything out in our lives for our own good.

Here’s a funny video of a guy getting surprised.

---

Did you like this post?  Did you hate it?  Please share it with your friends and leave a comment below.  I would love to read your thoughts and opinions.

Check out the Other Resources page for Bible Study Helps as well as media downloads, all free!

Questions?  Don’t forget to visit the Questions??Questions?? page and let me know.  I will try to answer it the best I can.  No Quantum Physics or Time Travel questions please!

I’m not Einstein!