National Lampoons Holmes Family Vacation


Well thank the Good Lord that is over!!  We drove 2,803 miles in 7 days.  We slept in 3 different states.  We ate at numerous fast food restaurants.  I chugged several Mountain Dews, Red Bulls and dozens of other sodas to stay awake.  We replace both back tires (thanks Road Construction) and had to have a flat tire on the front repaired (thanks AGAIN Road Construction).  I listened to a Veggie Tales CD so many times I thought I was a vegetable.  There is currently enough dropped food and spilled drinks on the floor of my van to feed a small underdeveloped country.

We left at 2:30 am, Wednesday for Cincinnati.  We arrived 15 hours later, thats pretty good time with 3 kids 4 and under.  We slept at Amy’s Moms house that night, got up and drove to Dayton.  There we visited Amy’s best friend Carol and her family.  We went to the local YMCA (I dressed as the Indian Chief) where the kids played on a ginormous playground.  Then we drove south to Springboro to visit my best friend Scott and watch his daughter play softball.  We then went to Olive Garden (thanks for dinner brother).  Back to Cincinnati.  The next morning we drove to St. Louis.  Checked in the hotel, went to the tire store and had two new tires put on the rear (thanks for the recommendation Grandpa).  The next day we went to the wedding this whole trip was for.  Amy’s cousin Mary Joe walked down the isle in a beautiful wedding.  She looked wonderful and made a beautiful bride.  We were on the second row, with three kids at nap time.  Thankfully the wedding took about 15 minutes start to finish.  It was the fastest wedding ever.  Then back to the hotel to get changed for the reception.

On to the reception.  That was fun.  Eating, dancing, etc..  We ate and watch a little dancing and then took off.  It was bed time for my crew.  The next morning we drove back east about 45 minutes to visit with Amy’s Aunt and Uncle.  They were having a big BBQ and her whole family was there.  We got to see everyone with a minimal amount of driving.

Thanks Aunt Laura and Uncle Moe for the hotel.  It was very nice.  And it was the best bed we had slept on since leaving our house.  Next it was back to Cincinnati.  Sleep at Moms house and get up the next morning to a flat tire on the front.  Fix-a-flat and a trip to Wal-mart.  Two and a half hours later we roll out.

We arrived back at home at the same time we left, 2:30 am, Wednesday, seven days later to the minute.

We dodged crazy drivers, crazy people at hotels, crazy in-laws and crazy weather.  We almost lost my oldest daughter, a little advice, if you spouse is a heavy sleeper don’t sneak out in the morning for coffee and breakfast.  If your daughter wakes up she will go looking for you and end up outside the room crying trying to get the door back open.  Poor thing.  She is safe and other than the mental anguish, she is fine.  We started a Counseling Fund when we found out we were going to be parents.  We figured since they were going to have us for parents they might need professional psychiatric counseling later in life.

Thus ends the tale of the Holmes Family Vacation.

One final word of thinks- I would like to offer my most heartfelt thanks to the person or people that made it possible to have a DVD system in vehicles.  You are about two steps down for Jesus in my book.  Jesus saved humanity, you saved vacation sanity.  (Helpful Hint- If you have kids, invest in a portable DVD system, it is worth it!!!!!!!!!)

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One Response

  1. and just what the heck was wrong with the bed in our guest room!?!?!?!! just kidding I know it was a long and hard trip. I didn’t know about the flat tire first thing in the am….. no wonder it took so dang long to get home. NOR did anyone tell me about Abby getting locked out.(insert mad mother look here) it was great seeing all of you.
    Love you!

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