Let’s try this again…….


epic-failureWell I haven’t wrote anything for about 8 months now and I am sure that the couple people that read this blog are fed up and have given up on me.  I don’t blame them.  It has been a rough 8 months for me though, it’s not an excuse, just a fact.

It seems like everything I attempted for God in the last couple years has failed miserably.

1.  Get out of the Air Force and help my Dad with his church- Nope!  The church didn’t want to change to reach a new generation and rather than destroying the church Dad and I left to start a new church.

2.  Start a new church- Nope!  It lasted a year and we finally gave up because no one seemed to care about helping people and those that were there were mostly family.

3.  Start a young adult Sunday School class at my new church- Nope!  Well, not a complete nope yet, but as soon as I announced it I lost my job and had to go full time in the Air National Guard.  Now I live 5 hours away from my wife and kids and go home every other weekend.  I teach one Sunday and my Dad teaches the next but again, only my family comes and it isn’t going anywhere so far.

So, I have basically been a failure in everything I have done.  And to be quite honest about it I have been pretty upset with God about it.  And Momma always said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say…..”  So I have been quiet.

But I have felt God tugging on my heart for a while now and I have been too stubborn and too hurt to listen.  Well, I think it is time to listen and to heal.  So, here it goes.

God,

Help me to let go of my pain and my self-pity.  Help me to let go of my hurt pride and my bruised ego.  Help me to trust in you and to realize that neither success nor failure matter as long as I am trying to serve you.    Help me to find my lifes meaning in you and to stop judging myself by other peoples standards.  Allow me the strength to overcome my faults and to serve you more fully.  Forgive me for the resentment and the anger I have held in my heart and renew my mind, nurture my soul and heal my spirit.

In Your Name,

Amen

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